The honeymoon is over. Now what?
The biggest obstacle to any relationship is the something that few people see coming: the end of the honeymoon time. The initial magic fades, the excitement you felt when your mate entered the room is no longer there, and you begin to see your mate’s flaws instead of the positive traits.
This has happened to my husband and me in the past week. He did something that hurt me very badly, something I have never and will never do to him—not even in revenge.
I could never have imagined this happening, but I guess it is unavoidable. At first I thought it was the beginning of the end of our relationship. Fortunately, though, he is out of town right now and I have had time to think about what he did to hurt me and how it has affected me.
His betrayal has caused me to lose trust in him, and because of this I feel as though I love him less than before.
I have had the worst headache I have ever had in my life since Friday, since I found out how he betrayed me. Tonight, though, with my husband’s permission, I finally talked with a friend (who never repeats anything I tell her) about this. She told me a story about a marriage that lasted over 40 years even though it started out roughly. She ended her story with this poem:
To every problem under the sun,
There is a solution or there is none.
If there is one,
Search it until you find it.
If there is none,
Never mind it.
She also concluded our discussion with this statement, “At the end of the honeymoon time, you notice all the things you do not like in your mate. But if you want your relationship to last, you must keep looking for the good in your mate instead.”
Hopefully my friend is right about the end of the Honeymoon time. Her husband has treated her in the past like mine has treated me recently and she understands how I feel. But she has been married for many years and knows how to make a relationship work. If I look for the good in my husband like I did before he betrayed me and if he were to work to earn my trust back, we could make it until death parts us.
My husband read this and gave me permission to publish it. He wants to earn back my trust.
Soar like an eagle over life’s storms. Look for the good in your mate when your honeymoon ends so you can stay together.
Enjoy your family this holiday season!
Please read this for your family’s health.
Eclipse the negativity in your life! Read this.
Do your expectations cause you to get frustrated or depressed?
Try to communicate effectively no matter what is going on in your life!
BJ writes for children. Her book Near a River is available on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com.